Tuesday, May 08, 2012

Sue Profile 003: Ebony Way

Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way
What better way to celebrate the 10th post special of this blog than to have a character profile for the most infamous fanfic character ever? Meet Ebony Way, the infamous ultimate-Mary-Sue of the Harry Potter trollfic we have all come to love/hate, the legendary My Immortal. See for yourself the epic abuse of the English language from awful grammar down to hilarious misspellings, the compelling plot that seems to be the perfect parody of teenage angst as presented by the media, and the troll's wild sense of humor!

Ebony is the mother of all Mary Sues out there, and One Less Lonely Gurl's C'ren Bieber is actually one of her descendants who, shamefully, became a prep in an attempt to rebel against the norm that Mary Sues are usually 'goffs.' (This is actually a slight giveaway that I'm a troll all along and that I'm also a misfit in society and school even if I pretended to hate on them in One Less Lonely Gurl.)

Many, including myself, have tried to tried to imitate, reach, and surpass the legendary status of My Immortal, but none have succeeded as of yet. Thus far, this fanfic stays the stuff of legends and so does this character who looks surprisingly gorgeous and creepy at the same time in my fan art and interpretation of her. She can't get any more goffik than this!

Presenting... the awesomeness that is... Enoby!!!

Basic Statistics

Name: Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven (Tara) Way (aka Enoby, Enony, Eboby, Ebondy, Ebooby, Taebory, Taebony, Taenoby...)
Age: 17
Nationality: American?
Socioeconomic Level as a child: most likely rich. How can she afford all those outfits?
Socioeconomic Level as an adult: is a 17-year-old already an adult?
Hometown: Hogwarts
Current Residence: Hogwarts
Occupation: student/musician
Income: ?
Talents/Skills: singing, guitar, sorcery... everything!
Salary: ?
Birth order: unknown, probably an only child?
Siblings (describe relationship): ?
Spouse (describe relationship): none
Children (describe relationship): none
Grandparents (describe relationship): ?
Grandchildren (describe relationship): none
Significant Others (describe relationship): Draco, Vampire (Harry)
Relationship skills: great with goffs, awful with preps

Physical Characteristics:

Height: probably 5'3 (around Amy Lee's height)
Weight: Just thin enough to be anorexic.
Race: vampire, witch, human
Eye Color: icy blue like limpid tears, sometimes red
Hair Color: black with red and purple streaks
Glasses or contact lenses? contacts
Skin color: pale
Shape of Face: probably the same as Amy Lee's?
Distinguishing features: hair, eyes, pale skin, big 'bobs'
How does he/she dress? pseudo-Victorian 'goffik' trashy
Mannerisms: eats Count Chocula with blood instead of milk
Habits: (smoking, drinking etc.) smokes, drinks, slits writs, does drugs
Health: it's most likely deteriorating because of her weight, lifestyle... what the heck? She's a Mary Sue, for crying out loud!
Hobbies: slitting wrists, listening to goff music, describing her ridiculous outfit
Favorite Sayings: "Fuck off, preps!"
Speech patterns: swears a lot, abuses the English language
Disabilities: What? She's perfect!
Style (Elegant, shabby etc.): goffik!
Greatest flaw: overemotional, wrist-slitter, suicidal
Best quality: sense of humor, taste in music

Intellectual/Mental/Personality Attributes and Attitudes

Educational Background: seventh year in Hogwarts
Intelligence Level: genius in school, lacks street smarts
Any Mental Illnesses? depression
Learning Experiences: she learns that Draco has been cheating on her with Vampire
Character's short-term goals in life: continue being goffik
Character's long-term goals in life: marry Gerard Way
How does Character see himself/herself? so beautiful it's a curse
How does Character believe he/she is perceived by others? beautiful in a goffik way (geddit?)
How self-confident is the character? varies
Does the character seem ruled by emotion or logic or some combination thereof? mostly emotion
What would most embarrass this character? if she is caught dead wearing something preppy

Emotional Characteristics

-strengths: academic intelligence, musical talent, magical powers, powers of seduction
-weaknesses: oversensitivity, suicidal tendencies, wrist-slitter, prejudice
Introvert or Extrovert? varies
How does the character deal with anger? raising her middle finger, swearing
With sadness? wrist-slitting
With conflict? wrist-slitting
With change? depends what the change is
With loss? wrist-slitting
What does the character want out of life? no more preps!
What would the character like to change in his/her life? the fact that preps exist
What motivates this character? Gerard Way
What frightens this character? if Justin Bieber is actually pretending to be a goff named Gerard Way all along...? And that the rest of the band was One Direction in disguise? man, that would freak her out! Hey, that's a good fanfic parody idea!
What makes this character happy? goff stuff
Is the character judgmental of others? of preps, yes.
Is the character generous or stingy? generous with clothing descriptions!
Is the character generally polite or rude? mostly rude

Spiritual Characteristics
Does the character believe in God? not God. She believes that Satan/Stan created her
What are the character's spiritual beliefs? she's a Satanist/Stanist
Is religion or spirituality a part of this character's life? yes
If so, what role does it play? she worships Satan

How the Character is Involved in the Story

Character's role in the novel (main character? hero? heroine? Romantic interest? etc.): heroine
Scene where character first appears: Hi my name is... (Chapter 1)

Relationships with other characters: generally friends with goffs, hates preps

1. Willow - best friend
2. Draco - boyfriend
3. B'loody Mary Smith (Hermione)- other friend
3. Vampire Potter - friends with benefits
4. Voldemort - enemy
5. Britney (and all other preps) - enemy

How character is different at the end of the novel from when the novel began: huh?

Additional Notes on This Character: And now, the part we've all been waiting for!

Jimmy Sullivan! Drum roll please!A7X rox!


Mary Sue Score: 233 points! Whoa! So much for C'ren and Jo Bel, who both scored 149 on the same test. Take that!


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