Tuesday, May 01, 2012

One Less Lonely Gurl: Chapter 3

Even down here, I could have been called someone beautiful, just like back in the land where I came from. I have supposedly perfect, blonde hair with pink and green streaks that wave along with the waters down below.

("You know who else has blonde hair with pink and green streaks? That's right, it's Avril Lavigne, the motherfucking punk princess! Ya hear that, Monica?" Man, if only she was a real person! But yes, I was randomly thinking about Avril Lavigne when I was writing this part. However, I have nothing against Avril Lavigne. Tara Gilesbie thinks she's a poser though.)

"Not really," I replied. "I just came here by accident and am pretty much lost. Can someone give me some dirsctions?"

(Directions! Ugh! At this point, I'm starting to give up the bad spelling. Of all the things I can't stand, it's intentionally misspelling words that I can actually spell correctly even when I'm actually texting.  On the other hand, if I don't know how to spell a certain word, I'll use a spellchecker or Google the word. After writing this fanfic, I still don't understand why those idiots intentionally misspell words when there is obviously a glaring red zigzag underline under misspelled words [usually] in MS Word or even the built-in feature of fanfiction.net's Document Manager where stories can be further edited after upload.)

"Sure," a man with blonde hair, fair skin, and hughe, blue eyes said. He was wearing a white button-up sirt with a red tie, brown pants, and black shoes.

This disproves it.
(Ah, the first canon character to appear in the fanfic! Who's the better 'person' for this than Spongebob himself? Also, *huge and *shirt [or for the lulz, *skirt.])

"This is Bikini Bottom, a city within this entire state known as atlantis,

(Which it is not! Also, Atlantis is a proper noun, dammit!)

located underneath the Bermuda triangle.

(Which, again, it is not! Although that would be pretty awesome if this is true!)

THat's why many ships and aircraft mysteriously disappear when passing there. THis is a place that must never be known to man because of their sins.

(Dafuq did I just write?)

And by the way, I'm Bob. And you are?"

"I'm C'ren Amethyst LeHeart-Bieber. Just call me C'ren. I'm not related to Justin Bieber-"

(but I wish I was because he's such a major fucking hottie! Oh, no! What the fuck did I just write!? Geddit? Because this IS a dead giveaway that I'm a troll referencing My Immortal in this.)

"Justin Bieber?" Bob replied eagerly, interrupting me. "How do you know about him? He's, like, the biggest star here in all Atlantis."

(I'm already losing my mind by the time I wrote this.)

This looks Shakespearean compared to OLLG
"Wait..." I said. "If you just said that land himans

(Silly typo, but... what!? Himans? Now that just sounds wrong.)

are not allowed here because of theis


sins, then why the heck is Justin Bieber well-known here?

(Hints of logic: because this story doesn't have any! At least C'ren made sense for once!)

He is, like, the biggest star in the land above where I come from."

"Wha... !:" he said loudly. "You are from the land above!"

(Then kill her dead already! Oh, right. Mary Sue. Or when dreaming, fuck logic and sanity.)

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