Thursday, May 03, 2012

Sue Profile 001: C'ren Bieber

C'ren Amethyst LeHeart Bieber
If anyone is curious about how C'ren Bieber, the protagonist of Spongebob Squarepants fanfiction/trollfic One Less Lonely Gurl, looks like, this is it. She is the preppy doppelganger of My Immortal's Ebony Way. Ridiculous character profile follows after 'read more' link.
(Warning: Spoilers might follow! If anyone gets offended by this profile, please be reminded that she is a fanfiction character.)

Descriptions are written as follows: dream mode(reality); if no brackets, description applies to both dream and reality. Reality here is not this world per se, but what is 'real' in her life.
(Spoiler: the fanfic is all just a dream of a miserable hooker who lives as a vagrant in the streets of Russia as said in its more serious 'sequel': Plankton's Eye View )

Basic Statistics

Name: C'ren Amethyst LeHeart Bieber (Kataryna Simovitch)
Age: 19 (35)
Nationality: Russian
Socioeconomic Level as a child: middle-class
Socioeconomic Level as an adult: rich beyond one's wildest dreams (below poverty line)
Hometown: a small unnamed town in Russia
Current Residence: Bikini Bottom (a street in Russia)
Occupation: marine biologist (hooker)
Income: varies
Talents/Skills: everything! (Nothing. She stinks even at being a hooker.)
Salary: varies
Birth order: second
Siblings: has a half-brother
Spouse: none
Children: none
Grandparents: unknown
Grandchildren: none
Significant Others: none
Relationship Skills: perfect (beyond awkward)

Physical Characteristics:

Height: 5'10
Weight: 130 pounds (120 pounds)
Race: Russian
Eye Color: cerulean
Hair Color: blonde with dyed pink and green streaks
Glasses or contact lenses: neither
Skin color: fair
Shape of Face: oval
Distinguishing features: everything (ridiculously revealing outfit)
How does he/she dress: girly, revealing, mostly pink
Mannerisms: hmm... something ridiculous?
Habits (smoking, drinking etc.): none
Health: excellent (deteriorating)
Hobbies: everything (nothing because all she does is think of survival and get clients, unless daydreaming counts)
Favorite Sayings: "Never say never!"
Speech patterns: ?
Disabilities: none
Style (Elegant, shabby etc.): trashy, revealing, girly, mostly pink
Greatest flaw: megalomania, arrogance
Best quality: powers of seduction (persistence)

Intellectual/Mental/Personality Attributes and Attitudes

Educational Background:
none (self-taught)
Intelligence Level: genius (average)
Any Mental Illnesses?: megalomania
Learning Experiences: none
Character's short-term goals in life: survive
Character's long-term goals in life: rule the world, meet Justin Bieber
How does Character see himself/herself?: the best
How does Character believe he/she is perceived by others?: the best
How self-confident is the character?: very
Does the character seem ruled by emotion or logic or some combination thereof?: both
What would most embarrass this character?: if she is forced to hang out with a 'goff'. What the.

Emotional Characteristics


-strengths: everything! (persistence)
-weakness: nothing! (can't cook, can't swim, illiterate, can't count, sucks at being a hooker, awful fashion sense... I can go on.)
Introvert or Extrovert?: definitely extrovert
How does the character deal with anger?: physical violence
With sadness?: daydreaming about world domination
With conflict?: vengeful thoughts
With change?: depends what the change is
With loss?: finds a way to get it back
What does the character want out of life?: world domination, marry Justin Bieber
What would the character like to change in his/her life?: the fact that she's not married to Justin Bieber, where she lives, how she lives
What motivates this character?: Justin Bieber
What frightens this character?: see Justin Bieber die
What makes this character happy?: Justin Bieber
Is the character judgmental of others?: very
Is the character generous or stingy?: depends
Is the character generally polite or rude?: mostly rude

Spiritual Characteristics

Does the character believe in God?: questioning
What are the character's spiritual beliefs?: never say never!
Is religion or spirituality a part of this character's life?: rarely
If so, what role does it play?: C'ren contemplating her life's purpose

How the Character is Involved in the Story

Character's role in the novel: heroine/main villain (what?)
Scene where character first appears: It wuz jazz an ordnary day... (aka the 1st sentence of chapter 1)
Relationships with other characters:
1. Bob (Spongebob): -- first canon character she sees in Bikini Bottom, lets her sleep at his house, workmates, friends.
2. Eugene (Mr. Krabs): -- employee of, then enemy
3. Ward (Squidward): -- gets replaced by C'ren as cashier of Krusty Krab for some time; his life gets better once he gets a new job as Justin Bieber's clarinet player
4. Sheldon (Plankton): -- pretends to help him but uses him in the end for a more 'sinister' plan

How character is different at the end of the novel from when the novel began: She wakes up to find out that her life is miserable again, starts to hate Spongebob.

Additional Notes on This Character:
Mary Sue Litmus Test Score:
a whopping 149! - answered in a mix of Jimmy and Monica's points of view; C'ren dream mode. This score will actually lower if I answer it based on solely my own point of view as Jimmy.

a measly 11 - answered in my own point of view as Jimmy because I've written the part about the whole thing being a dream after I've abandoned Monica's persona (while still keeping her name as my penname.) This is her score once she wakes up from her dream.

Conclusion: C'ren is a pseudo-Mary Sue.

But on another note...

Oh, and by the way, I used this as a template for my character profile.

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