Tuesday, May 15, 2012

One Less Lonely Gurl: Chapter 8

[Jimmy's Note: Monica's AN is actually longer than the chapter itself. :D (wait, wrong emoticon!)]

When I left the Chum bucket,

(where 'Bucket' should have been capitalized too because it is part of a compound proper noun...)

Bob and I met along the way to the Justin Bieber concert we will go to later.

"So, are you excited for the concert?" Bob said as we swam

(Bikini Bottomites walk in water. That is a law of physics in their universe.)

to the stadium where the concert will be held.

"I sure am," I replied.

(Heck, when I learned that Avenged Sevenfold will have a concert at my place, I reacted the same way that Black Veil Brides reacted when they learned that they would be the opening act for an A7x concert. The concert I went to didn't have BVB in it, however. Still a great show, though! A7x deserves the win!)

Artwork by this awesome painter. And she's gorgeous too. :) Oh, damn. She's taken.
Another fun (but somewhat creepy) fact: I also have a massive man-crush on Jimmy Sullivan
Yes. This Jimmy. He's foREVer more gorgeous than me. (see chapter 4)

 "By the way, do you know of any short guys who have dark green hair and red eyes?"

(Another guy, who coincidentally, is also named James.)

"Whoa...!" Bob was dumbfounded for a while when I asked the question. "That's Sheldon, Eugene's arch nemesis. For years, he has been trying to steal the Krabby Patty formula."

(Another canon point for One Less Lonely Gurl!)

"No wonder," I replied. "That Chum stuff I ate a while ago was horrible. And can I have a Krabby patty? I'm starving. Even if I was able to go through the excruciating experience of having to finish an entire chumstick, I still want a Krabby Patty."

(C'ren sure has a BIG appetite, and yet, she's still slender. Another Sue point!)

Bob then gave me a Krabby Patty and as I tried it, the divine flavor of the food drowned out the bitterness that lingered in my mouth after eating that abomination known as Chum.

"Ugh... this is going to be a long day at work!" the pink fire extinguisher said as he opened, ready to spray the numerous rude author's notes with pink fumes that form italicized letters.

[AN: "I'm already assuming that almost none of you can actually strum a guitar with your left hand and press frets using the right hand. And also be a SELF-TAUGHT musician who can also play the drums, piano, and trumpet."

(As quoted from another rude author's note)

I said ALMOST NONE of you. ALMOST. Know what it means.

(Come back to meeeeeeeee, it's aaaaaaallllllmost eeeeeeeasyyyyyyyyy!!!!! Sorry, can't resist. Also, the music video of the song involves a lot of flames. Yet another fun fact: The top comment as of the time I published this was about another guy thinking that Jimmy Sullivan is sexy. Huzzah! That means I'm not alone! 

And yes, almost is a very easy word to know the meaning of. Even my 5-year-old cousin knows what the word means.

By the way, this is an age-old excuse that bad writers use to defend themselves from people who just want to give constructive criticism. Yes, I love Avenged Sevenfold to beyond the death, but I don't talk about them excessively in my stories and even make a Gary Stu/Mary Sue who is so obsessed with them. Neither do I bash anyone who hates them because I know that people have their own preferences.)

You know, I don't even know you guys personally, so as a matter of fact, I'm just doing a rough estimate. I'm sure though that it's hard to accomplish what Bieber has already accomplished for himself.

(And it's much harder to accomplish what the guys of Green Day, Avenged Sevenfold, and MCR have accomplished for themselves. They all have been through more experiences and hardships just to get themselves to where they are now, and come to think about it, they are still not as popular as, say, Justin Bieber, who did work hard to achieve what he has, but things came easier for him because he was discovered by Usher on Youtube, where it's easier to gain fame. These rock stars didn't even have youtube to back them up.)

And honestly, I don't think looks is a good reason for someone to get mad at another.

(One attitude point for Monica! I actually agree with this. It's unreasonable to get mad at someone just because they are fat and have a face on their zits.)

I know that. In case you did not remember in Ch 5 and read it CAREFULLY, C'ren isn't mad at her half-brother because he's fat and disgusting but because of the things he has done to her.

(This is true in the story, though. Makes enough sense.)

Oh, and a review reply.

NeVa.say.NeVa2 says, OMG, thanks for putting me in your chapter; I'll let you go this time. But guys, stop dissing her story ok, just get over yourselves, and there is nothing wrong with Justin Bieber. I guess you're just jealous that he's so hot and you're ugly and you'll never have a chance with him. And, she can be pretty if she wants just because a lot of your characters look like ass doesn't mean hers has to. Not everyone in this world is ugly.
And Neva, thanks. There's nothing wrong with Bieber.


Now that I reread your review after over ten months, I actually feel sorry for you. There is no way you'll get with Bieber too, with that attitude of yours, if you are actually serious about what you said here and if you don't actually know how to spell his name correctly or know to go over your review and make sure you typed his name correctly. But then again, if you're also joking just like your friend xXicarlygurlXx, then your works are those of a true genius. Your works are really the funniest shit I've seen in a while, and I meant it. Really. Also, excluding the part where you were implying that my reviewers are ugly, you make a good point about characters not always being ugly, but then, they are harder to write well and make believable without stepping into Mary Sue/Gary Stu territory. This fanfic/trollfic isn't one of those well-written stories with good-looking people. Thanks anyway for trying to back me up when I was still wearing the mask of Monica Gilbey-Bieber.)

Lotsaluv from Monica.]

(Signed, Monica/James.
PS. Please make more trollfics. They are hilarious.)

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