One Less Lonely Gurl: Chapter 13

Yup, the Earth is heliocentric.

[Jimmy's Note: There are actually things I forgot to explain in this fanfic such as the stuff I was still supposed to write had I not given up on this fanfic.]

The next day, I told Justin that I cannot go with him and that I will have less time for him for the meantime because I will create the chemical that will allow him to breathe underwater. Justin, after all, is just a small

(Pun NOT intended.) 

but important part of my plan. Having him fall for me is just an additional point for the fulfillment of the things I am supposed to do. I know pretty darn well that the world does not revolve around him. The world revolves around the sun,

(That's true, but your actions say otherwise.) 

so that means there is more to life than just him.

I applied for a job at the Krusty Krab as the fry cook so that I can be with Bob.

(That didn't come out quite right...)

One Less Lonely Gurl: Chapter 12

Just add candles.

[Jimmy's Note: The fanfic has recently been deleted. Thankfully, I was able to preserve all my reviews in screenshot form. Yes, I'm that crazy.]

As both of us went in the Krusty Krab, we both signed autographs for the people who were eating there while Justin's bodyguards helped us keep secure. Mr. Krabs went out of his office and politely escorted us to our table which looked like it had been reserved for us. It was on a raised platform, had a white tablecloth, and on top of it were pink roses in a crystal vase. There were also three scented candles with different shades of pink on top of the table,

(Nope, the candles are on top of the chairs, and little did C'ren and Justin know that their butts would get burnt. Oh, wrong story!)

but not near enough the roses to burn them.

(We get it. Everything is pink [or white] for C'ren. But with Ebony, everything is All Black.)

Bikini Bottom actually has a special form of flame they discovered long ago in their history that was resistant to water but can be extinguished easily by enclosing it in a container just like normal land fires.

(Real explanation: Bikini Atoll (where the show is located, not Atlantis as in this fanfic...) has four vents a few miles away. This could make fire underwater possible. -Spongebob Wiki)

Also, the underwater flames

(Geddit? Flames? Reviewers?)

do not really grow very big.

(But in this fanfic, they did.)

It's Here!

The preview of the new site

The rehost site for One Less Lonely Gurl has finally been made. Since it was taken down from fanfiction.net, I came up with this site to rehost the fic and preserve the lulz. The complete fic (including the bonus confession chapter) can be enjoyed here in all its... glory.

The nauseatingly (your mileage may vary on this one though...) pink design of the site is reminiscent of Monica Gilbey-Bieber's personality, making the theme very suitable for the site. The picture of a pale boy with black hair (that would be me) sitting at the site's footer is kinda hilarious with the contrast it has against the bright pink that colors most of the page. By the way, I also pursue blog/web design as a hobby. I just never came about to making my templates user-friendly, so my designs are mostly for my exclusive use only. I have yet to study how to make designs that are easily customizable even by people without much knowledge in HTML or CSS.

Anyway, enjoy the lulz! :)

Interesting Week So Far...

It's been an interesting week so far since I went on hiatus for a while. I'm in my new apartment now and I just finished setting up my stuff. Phew!

I just found out that my fanfic One Less Lonely Gurl got deleted by the fanfiction.net admins along with the commentaries by Coralline Slayer, Gokiburi Prince (Leaning on the Fourth Wall), and Nazirul Takashi. So, those links don't work anymore. The only complete commentary so far is the one in Project After Forums. I will soon make a rehost site here for the fanfic. No one can take away our lulz!

Furthermore, I found out that my fanfic already has its own TV Tropes page when I saw that one of my top traffic sources is TV Tropes, a well-known 'cheat sheet' for writers everywhere. I've been a fan of that page for quite some time, but I don't do edits there. I just read the tropes, and every day that I visit there, I learn a thing or two. It has helped me improve my writing thus far.

My fanfic aside, I also found out that a few other trollfics have been recently deleted by the admins such as the infamous Jo Bekke at Hugwrts. (I'm too lazy to type it the way Jo Bel did.) They're doing a pretty good job purging the site of badfic/trollfic.

Let's just say that my faith in humanity (actually, the FFN admins...) has been partially restored until Jo Bel wreaks her bigoted vengeance again. Her brother said that she isn't a troll, unless of course, if Jo Bel, her brother, her cousin, her boyfriend, and the hacker are all the same person with multiple personality disorder...

One Less Lonely Gurl: Chapter 11

Yup, I'll be moving soon.

[Jimmy's Note: I've said in the eleventh chapter of my current fanfic some time ago that I'm going to be on hiatus for a while because I'll be moving to a new apartment soon. But I decided to take a break from packing my stuff and post one last blog entry here before I change my address.]

The truth is,

(This fanfic was never serious at all. Oh wait, that's for 17 chapters later!)

I actually snuck back in the silence of the early morning after the concert to the engine room of the submarine and dismantled the engines so that I can stop Justin from going back up to the land.

(Bonko!)

That's because I want him to stay with me here and help me with my plans.

(Dun dun dun dun...)

You have got to be kidding me.

One Less Lonely Gurl: Chapter 10

A room in an awesome underwater hotel in Istanbul.

Backstage, Justin has an awesome pad (a submarine) where he could freely take off his underwater breathing helmet. It had beautiful views of the fish freely swimming about, the coral reefs of different colors, and the waters that were as blue as my eyes.

(The eye comparison ruined an otherwise good description of the sea.)

"Say, are you C'ren Amethyst?" he asked. "That girl who actually won an Olympic medal for swimming? That girl who shares my last name? How in hell can you even hold your breath underwater without needing a helmet?"

(One logic point for Justin!)

"No idea," I replied. "I just discovered this cool power when I first submerged myself in a pool, back when I first took swimming lessons."

(When you are dreaming, chances are you'll dream about superpowers. The most common one is the ability to fly.)

One Less Lonely Gurl: Chapter 9

See?

As soon as we got to the Justin Bieber concert, the entire stadium was already filled and the technical crew are setting up the props for the show. Pearl, the tall, blonde girl with gray eyes

(Pearl's eyes are actually blue.)

who is wearing a pink dress, called us over.

I was so excited because we were so close to the stage.

(I felt the same way about that A7x concert. I was also so close to the stage. Well, not until the awesome mosh pit pushed me there!)

Ever since I've heard of Justin Bieber, I have always dreamt about him every night and even just to meet him.

(This is actually a reference to the fact that some fans can get obsessed with any celebrity to the point that their lives revolve around said celebrity.)

Maybe that is the emptiness I still am feeling despite the fact that I have done a lot of things at the tender age of eighteen and survived a horrible past in such a short time that seemed to me like a million years.

One Less Lonely Gurl: Chapter 8

[Jimmy's Note: Monica's AN is actually longer than the chapter itself. :D (wait, wrong emoticon!)]

When I left the Chum bucket,

(where 'Bucket' should have been capitalized too because it is part of a compound proper noun...)

Bob and I met along the way to the Justin Bieber concert we will go to later.

Elsewhere: C'ren (Part 1)

C'ren the dragon rider

My readers have already complained that C'ren is a stupid name. As a matter of fact, when I decided to do my research some time ago, I realized that C'ren is actually a common (I think I found about two other Pernese fan-made characters with the same name) Pernese masculine name (another Sue point for C'ren of One Less Lonely Gurl!), and is therefore, not stupid. The guy on the left is actually my interpretation of a fan-made character from this antiquated Geocities website where Anne McCaffrey fans would roleplay and live out their fantasies of living in the world of Dragonriders of Pern, a sci-fi/fantasy book that McCaffrey wrote. (Coincidentally, my trollfic was labeled as sci-fi/fantasy. Hey, I didn't know about this book until then!)

The name C'ren is actually commonly pronounced as See-ran (as with this character), and a dramatic reading of my fic by some British chick who happens to be a fanfic reviewer pronounced it as such. C'ren of One Less Lonely Gurl, however, is pronounced as Karen as a pun on Plankton's computer's name.

Now, for a character profile. Also, I will test if this character is a Gary Stu. (Most likely, he's not. The character rules actually state that no Mary Sues and Gary Stus are allowed.)

Disclaimer: Since I don't actually know much about Pernese culture provided that I haven't really read any of the books, this profile might be inaccurate. Nevertheless, this is the most wholesome character profile in this blog so far amidst all the Sue Profiles that are really just as offensive as the characters themselves.

One Less Lonely Gurl: Chapter 7

As soon as we got to the Krustry Krab, all eyes were on me again and everyone dropped their patties, mouth agape.

(Mary Sue trait: when everyone stops what they are doing just to look at her and admire her beauty)

So did that grumpy-looking guy with very short, light blue hair and a big nose at the counter.

(Squidward.)

You have got to be kidding me.

Elsewhere: This Blog's Name

Troll's Eye View: The Book

I went on to randomly Googling my blog's name, Troll's Eye View, to see what would come out. I discovered that my website actually shares names with a book.

Coincidentally, just like my blog that tells a story from the point of view of a former internet troll (considered to be the 'villain' of the internet), this book tells stories from the point of view of the antagonists. I'm also working on a story told from the point of view of an antagonist, Sheldon James Plankton (who coincidentally shares names with me, and also coincidentally, James Sullivan, James Durbin, Michael James Way, Zachary James Baker, and St. Jimmy. Oh, and Harry Potter's dad, too.)

Yeah, James is an awesome name. :)

Anyway, I firmly believe that no one is born entirely evil or good, and that life is just infinite shades of gray. I live with the principle of doing my best to see what is good in everything and the bad in even the most 'perfect' of Mary Sues. This belief system is very similar to what is being presented in this book, which I might consider reading someday.

Plankton

Ever since I was a kid, I've always been fascinated with villains and why they almost always lose. I've always seemed to understand that villains don't really just do things for the evulz. Even if the story itself would say that they are just evil by nature, I don't actually believe in things and people being naturally evil. (Yes, even insanity counts as a logical motive for being evil, therefore, s/he isn't innately evil. Insanity, in turn, has to be caused by something traumatic that must have happened in the past.)


Fun Fact: This is my third post that doesn't have a jump link.

Sue Profile 005: Atlantiana Loren

Atlantiana Rebekah Loren

She is Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way of the Twilight fandom. She is the main character of the fanfic: Forbiden Fruit: the tempation of Edward Cullen. She also has multicolored hair and likes the same stuff that Ebony does, except that she's blonde (which ironically, Ebony hates) and tall (because it's very probable that Ebony is about Amy Lee's height, considering that Ebony said that people think she looks like Amy Lee.). Other than that, she seems to be the perfect substitute for Ebony if ever this character was placed in My Immortal.

Now, without further ado... (okay. You have to press the read more link if you haven't already.)

One Less Lonely Gurl: Chapter 6

Great. Now I want one.

I woke up in the middle of the night after such a horrible nightmare and I panted heavily, as if I had just finished a marathon.

"What's wrong? Are you okay?" Bob said as he rushed up to the room to give me some hot cocoa.

(Wait a minute... how did Bob hear her pant heavily if he was downstairs? Oh well, fuck logic.)

"Oh, nothing," I replied. "I just had a horrible, horrible dream... something about my past."

"Just drink this, because in a few hour's time, I have to get to work at the Krusty Krab. If you want, I can take you there and you can try the most delicious food of all the world: the legendary Krabby Patty,

(I was tempted to replace 'Krabby Patty' with 'burger', but I decided not to push through with it. This fanfic would be much worse if I actually did so.)

which I make.

(At least this was kept in canon.)

Sue Profile 004: Fenuella Swan

Fenuella Sarah Jessica Parker Sheen-Swan

When I was still writing my trollfic, I was expecting that all my reviews would, of course, be flame reviews. (I did get a kick out of people getting annoyed over nothing, but the kick got old soon enough when I had to start arguing with people who actually share my personal viewpoint.) However, there is this person who got mad at me over having a fanfic that shares a title with hers.

This is a screenshot of the review:

Actually, titles are not covered by copyright.

Proof?

"The good news is that song titles are not copyrightable. The Code of Federal Regulations provides that: “words and short phrases such as names, titles, and slogans” are “not subject to copyright and applications for registration of such works cannot be entertained.” 37 C.F.R. § 202.1(a). Case law confirms this, although at least one case suggests that a title that is completely fanciful and arbitrary, such as “Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious,” might be entitled to copyright protection. However, that does not seem to be an issue here because you have suggested the title is a common phrase. Moreover, because the title is a common phrase, it would not be entitled to copyright protection even if song titles could be copyrighted because in order to obtain a copyright, the work must be original. Therefore, you should not be held liable for copyright infringement for using a song title as the title of your movie. The bad news is your movie title will not be copyrightable either."

I don't think that One Less Lonely Gurl/One Less Lonely Girl is copyrightable because many fanfics have already used this phrase as a title. Justin Bieber has never sued any of us, however, no matter how awful most fanfics with this title are. I did apologize to her over something that isn't my fault at all, then she gave me a rather unexpected positive review on my story, trying her best to back me up despite all the flame comments that my story actually deserves.

Now, without further ado, the Mary Sue of the other One Less Lonely Gurl, Fenuella! She has got to be the most annoying-looking sue I drew so far. Just becose...

One Less Lonely Gurl: Chapter 5

"Maltreated and abused? Look, Cinderella!" -one of my reviews

[Jimmy's Note: In the legendary words of Tara Gilesbie, viower excretion advisd. This has got to be one of the most offensive chapters of One Less Lonely Gurl.]

 As I went up to the bedroom, I drifted off to sleep right away. I don';t

(I was tempted to get rid of the damned semicolon here, but part of the badfic challenge is to not look back and edit.)

give a damn about the land above anymore. I want to stay here for the rest of my life. That's because, back in the land, I was maltreated and abused by my own family.

(Boo hoo.)

I felt so alone back there.

(Really? How about the men who worship the ground you walk on? Quit complaining, bitch!)

Why the Internet Hates Tweens

Social networks. How many of these are you familiar with?

The internet has been a staple to our lives with the emergence of the digital age. It is here where we learn something new everyday as we search through blogs, read the news, and even know what's happening to our friends. The influence of the internet is vast enough to the point that it can even alter our perspectives on life and people in general.

This is also where we cheer ourselves up after a day's worth of hell at work or where we would all procrastinate when the homework piles up. (Admit it. We have all done this in our lives. Well, the kids, teens and young adults here in general...) We also use the internet to help ourselves in answering home works or even in trying to figure out who Luca Pacioli is. (Random fact: Yup, he's a mathematician, and he is also known as the Father of Accounting.) In this day and age, we have access to information in an instant. Just sit in front of a computer or have your mobile device in a wi-fi zone, and you're good to go!

In this fast-changing world, it is inevitable that the kids of today will have easier access to the internet and will also get to access all the same things that we get to, including R-18 websites. Kids can now get to know about stuff much, much earlier than they should. They will get to see the darker side of adulthood much earlier than they are ready to... much earlier than the time they become mentally, physically, spiritually, and emotionally mature enough to comprehend the consequences. Then they go on and try those crazy, stupid things that adults do, but still naive as ever.

Sue Profile 003: Ebony Way

Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way

What better way to celebrate the 10th post special of this blog than to have a character profile for the most infamous fanfic character ever? Meet Ebony Way, the infamous ultimate-Mary-Sue of the Harry Potter trollfic we have all come to love/hate, the legendary My Immortal. See for yourself the epic abuse of the English language from awful grammar down to hilarious misspellings, the compelling plot that seems to be the perfect parody of teenage angst as presented by the media, and the troll's wild sense of humor!

Ebony is the mother of all Mary Sues out there, and One Less Lonely Gurl's C'ren Bieber is actually one of her descendants who, shamefully, became a prep in an attempt to rebel against the norm that Mary Sues are usually 'goffs.' (This is actually a slight giveaway that I'm a troll all along and that I'm also a misfit in society and school even if I pretended to hate on them in One Less Lonely Gurl.)

Many, including myself, have tried to tried to imitate, reach, and surpass the legendary status of My Immortal, but none have succeeded as of yet. Thus far, this fanfic stays the stuff of legends and so does this character who looks surprisingly gorgeous and creepy at the same time in my fan art and interpretation of her. She can't get any more goffik than this!

Presenting... the awesomeness that is... Enoby!!!

One Less Lonely Gurl: Chapter 4

[AN: who the hell is Ebony and why the heck am I even like her? She's an emo fag. I hate emo's. 

(Monica's prejudice against anyone who isn't like her makes her like Ebony in a way, only she hates goffs, while Ebony hates preps.)

Yup, that's me. I look like a girl.

I love rainbows and I hate rock songs. 

(I like rainbows AND rock songs!)

I simply hate that dark stuff. Goths, punks, and emo's creep me out. 

(Quite the opposite actually. These people are actually nicer than they look and are often misunderstood. That very misunderstanding is actually the very reason why Todd wrote My Immortal. He used it as an outlet for his anger.)

I'm blonde, I like pink, and I love Hilary Duff! She's one of the best singers ever! Justin Bieber is ah-dorable!]

(I have black hair [see picture of me at the upper right], I like hot pink, and I'm not really that crazy about Hilary Duff. heck, I don't even know even a single song by her. This is actually a My Immortal reference because Ebony hates Hilary Duff. Justin Bieber is ah-dorable? Maybe for rabid fangirls, but not me. I'm just neutral about him... Well, I used to be a hater, but I soon got over it. 
Fun fact: The picture of Monica that I used for my profile pic back then is actually an awful picture of me that I photoshopped to have long, blonde hair with pink and green streaks just like C'ren's/Avril's. That was when I realized that I could actually pass as a girl, also considering my ridiculously short stature of 4'10. Just add fake breasts and butt enhancer. Now on to the story, right after the jump link!) 

Sue Profile 002: Jo Bele Puttr

Jo bele Susie lilee Puttr

Jo Bekke at Hugwrts is the new My Immortal, written by Jo Bel (fortunately, her account has been deleted by the FFN dudes...), some person who hates on Northerners, gay people, and blacks. It is a fanfic that features Jo Bel herself as the self-insert Mary Sue main character who spends her days killing off innocent Northerners. It's a really disturbing, vile fanfic that makes My Immortal and One Less Lonely Gurl look like they were written by stupid prepubescent tweens. (Note: I have nothing against prepubescent tweens. It's just that the internet is brainwashing us to think that they are all stupid when they are not. More on that in my next blog post, unless I choose to continue commentating on my own trollfic. Also, both of these fanfics are trollfics written by Todd and I, respectively, just for the lulz.)

Fun fact: Tara himself, yes... himself, actually commentated on this horrid story. His real name is Todd, as I've said. I'm still skeptical about this though, but if he's telling the truth, than he's the most epic troll the internet has ever known. See the link for yourself.

Another fun fact: When I was drawing my interpretation of Jo Bele (picture above), I realized that C'ren Bieber is much more gorgeous than her. Yes, really. Maybe it's because C'ren is my OC-Sue no matter how much I abhor her personality. At least C'ren can make sense... sometimes.

Now for her ridiculously offensive character profile...
(Disclaimer: I donut, er... don't own this horrid fanfic, fortunately. But then again, I also don't own this Harry Potter thiny, I mean, thingy. Dis... this is just a fan-made character profile OK? Also, if you are offended by her character profile, please be reminded that the fanfic that this character is in is even more offensive. Also, kindly correct me if there's anything wrong in the character profile. I haven't completely read the failfic yet because I value my sanity.)

Sue Profile 001: C'ren Bieber

C'ren Amethyst LeHeart Bieber

If anyone is curious about how C'ren Bieber, the protagonist of Spongebob Squarepants fanfiction/trollfic One Less Lonely Gurl, looks like, this is it. She is the preppy doppelganger of My Immortal's Ebony Way. Ridiculous character profile follows after 'read more' link.
(Warning: Spoilers might follow! If anyone gets offended by this profile, please be reminded that she is a fanfiction character.)

One Less Lonely Gurl: Chapter 3

See?

Even down here, I could have been called someone beautiful, just like back in the land where I came from. I have supposedly perfect, blonde hair with pink and green streaks that wave along with the waters down below.

("You know who else has blonde hair with pink and green streaks? That's right, it's Avril Lavigne, the motherfucking punk princess! Ya hear that, Monica?" Man, if only she was a real person! But yes, I was randomly thinking about Avril Lavigne when I was writing this part. However, I have nothing against Avril Lavigne. Tara Gilesbie thinks she's a poser though.)

"Not really," I replied. "I just came here by accident and am pretty much lost. Can someone give me some dirsctions?"

(Directions! Ugh! At this point, I'm starting to give up the bad spelling. Of all the things I can't stand, it's intentionally misspelling words that I can actually spell correctly even when I'm actually texting.  On the other hand, if I don't know how to spell a certain word, I'll use a spellchecker or Google the word. After writing this fanfic, I still don't understand why those idiots intentionally misspell words when there is obviously a glaring red zigzag underline under misspelled words [usually] in MS Word or even the built-in feature of fanfiction.net's Document Manager where stories can be further edited after upload.)